Far From You

" I wish I could go far away from you,

Far enough to love you and for you to let me go "

Love Letter II

How have you been? I've haven't seen you quite a long time. I don't really intend to trouble you by this letter. I know it has been hard for you, for both of us. I can never compensate the pain that I had caused you. Sorry may not compensate the pain that haunts your heart now. But may it open your heart for forgiveness. I don't intend to beg that from you but I hope you try just for old time sake. Some things came clear to me now that we are far apart. And looking at you this far made me realize one thing which I should have thought when we were still together that you are one of the greatest things that ever happen to me. The only thing I ever regret is that we did not made it and that I hurt you. May you find the one that could renew your hope in love. And hope that someone would treasure you, a thing I failed to do. I wish you well always. Take care and Goodbye.

a little more far

I still feel you though you are so faraway,

Hope I could run a little more farther;

Just to forget the pain when you wont stay,

And letting you go couldn't be harder.

Chosen Fate

if I could write every word my heart speaks for you,

a million words may not be enough,

I could only put it in rhyme with my soul,

To unveil to you my true love

No matter how long i have to wait,

No matter what pain I had to taste,

I would bear it all without haste,

For being with you is my chosen fate

quotes from me

"they say love is immeasurable and that no scale that exists in this world that could bound the greatness and mysteries of love. All we could do is deal with approximations which itself are very far from what love is."

"Love is a thing that we cant mold into our own perspective. Rather, it is the only thing that exists in this world that is above order and reason that defines its nature beyond our own understanding."

Seeing the difference

Now it is june.. School starts and meeting now friends or hanging out with old ones :D.. Well, I missed school quite a bit. I want to make things serious in my academic life. I intend that this school year is my last. I don't have plans to stay longer. It would only make me look a lot worst than a loser :D Anyways, on the start of a new journey, I can see somethings had changed. I hangout to fewer people now. Since most of them had graduated already and had jobs or had chose to stay home. But it was fine though. I am not that sad but its kind of a weird feeling. I can also sense the difference to my emotional state with respect to that PERSON compared to the few years back. I was glad to finally my system is starting to get rid of the feeling I had once. This is a new start for me. And this time, I want to be goal-oriented and be the best I could. 

Love Letter

Para sa Minamahal,
Di ko alam kong kailan ka darating sa buhay ko pero mag-aantay parin ako. Di ko rin alam kong ano ang magiging hitsura mo pero alam kong makikilala ka nang puso ko. Wag mo sanang alalahanin ang kalagayan ko kasi hanggat di kita makakasama pipilitin kong lampasan lahat ng pagsubok sa buhay ko. Kung sakali mang di man tayo magkita, iisipin mo lage na nasasayo parin ang puso ko. Kahit baguhin man ng panahon ang daloy ng buhay ko, sayo parin liligaya ng tunay tong puso ko. Sana abutin ka ng sulat. Sana ingatan ka ng May Kapal. Hanggat sa oras na tayo'y magkasama, aantayin kita, mahal ko.

Laging sayo,
Ang Nagmamahal...

being trapped in a relationship

This is not an unusual problem. A lot of early couples are experiencing this kind of issue. Trapped in the sense that the person in that relationship feels no future in their relationship. But he/she cant give up that person because his/her partner still holds on to them. And the partner is still believing that they can still make it.

It really sucks to be into something that is not working well. Honestly and open communication between partners really helps . The hardest part is taking the risk by deciding to let go and holding on to the decision for the better good. Ignoring wont drive this away cause a time will come that it would be a lot harder to fix the problem.

A lot of people experiencing this thinks that letting go or forcing their other partner to break their relationship is being cruel to their partner. Specially when they see that their partner is trying his/her best in holding on.

But this is not the case, it doesn't mean that if the other one is trying to make ends meet in your relationship. Then everything would turned out to be fine. THe issue here is that you not growing as a couple if one ignores the issue because it would be cruelty or wrong and the other one is covering it up with efforts.

Its hard specially if you have been together for quite a long time and had beaten a lot of odds together. And it would a sad thing to admit to yourselves that your not growing close but farther apart. Admittance that you had this issue, honesty on speaking, listening, and had a courage to decide are the things you should put in mind.

A Kiss that feels right

Ever since the ancient times, kiss has been one of the best way to show affection or respect to someone. A touching of one person's lips to another place that somehow evolved through time and many kinds were born from it. But aside from that, kissing has been one of the ways to find a suitable partner.

We sometimes came across to a lot of people who considered kissing someone a way to determine if that person was right for them. A lot also claimed that kissing someone who is really meant for you feels different or somewhat special compared to kissing other people. They call it “the spark”. Funny it seems that some rely on this spark to find the perfect one.

Would a kiss be enough to decide if you are meant to be? Many would say “Yes”. But a few would be skeptical about it. But me, I don’t totally disagree with the whole thing but may add a few details. When you find someone or if you’re with someone meant for you, I beg not to be melodramatically about it, everything would feel right. Even the slightest breath of air, the sound, the moment, everything would feel right. And these things do not go one way.

It is not only the kiss that would feel right when your with the one you love… but everything… would feel right.

Simala Travel

Last April 13, my mom with the rest of the family went to Simala. I having gone to Simala for 3 times already and did not expected the kind of picture of it when we arrived there. If you have been to Sinulog, yesterday's people was same as it was in Sinulog. There were so many people. It was so since it was the 13th day of the month and falls on a Sunday which according to some old folks in the area, is day of miracles of the virgin. It was not a good thing to be there since I was suffering from mingraine already. And the heat, crowd and the atmosphere in Simala is not helping my situation. But I'd still managed to be there for a few hours and attended the mass. And believe me, the number of people that goes out never compensates to the number people thats goes in. I did think yesterday that Mother Mary seen the people in Simala since there were scattereed rain shower on the area. It was quite refreshing but the fact that "from heat then rain" is not good. Wahaha.. :D It was dark when we arrived home. I did thank God since I was still in good shape althroughout the travel. It was an unforgetable experience. One thing I've learned that day, if you want to avoid a lot of people, go to Simala when its not Sunday and not the 13th day of the month. And one more thing, bring yourself only and dont be with someone else. So you wont have a hard time dragging someone along with you :D

broken promises

Well, i turned to be bad for breaking my promise to my mom to be home early. I did planned to be home early but a friend of mine invited me to hang out with some friends. I did like the idea since that friend would pay for my food. But the sad thing was I forgot to ask for permission to stay late or be late. I did anticipate on the time but I was so happy hanging out with my friends that I got lost track of time. The next thing I know it was 10:30 pm which was way past the time I promised to be home. When mom called on the cellular phone of my friend, I immediately got on the jeepney going home. Not only I did break my mom's promise, I also broke one of my promises too. I did promise that I should stay away and ignore that person. And also as much as possible never ever speak of that word again. But me being an ass, broke it all. I clung to that person like a lizard. I did not ignore that person coz most of my attention was on that person. And not but not the least, I used that forbidden word many times. I know I did went so far in breaking my promises. But did I really broke them or was it still on the context? I did an emotional check within myself. And it was still my resolve. So it was nothing serious to impose a threat to me. I felt bad for the broken promises.. And I do my best to never do it again.. :D

Johny Deep Movie marathon

Today, I watched movies starring JOhn Deep. Well these are "The Pirates of the Caribbean: At the World's Ends" and "Sweeney Todd: the demon barber of fleet street" . The first one was pretty nice. I really am amuse on the acting of Jack Sparrow (johny deep). hehe.. His lines in the movie (or the manner he carry himself the scenes) are funny. On the other hand, the second movie was a bit tragic since Mr. Todd (johny deep) killed his own wife. It was an accident though coz he wasnot able to give a closer look at the woman. But it should not have happen if mrs. lovett did not lie of his wife's whereabouts and mr. todd was not eatin by his thirst of revenge over the people that cause him pain.

All the films are worth watching.. ANd I enjoy myself watching them:D

Johny Deep fan forever!!! hehehe

... regrets...

Things we regret on:
1.) things we wished to have but did not
2.) words we wished to say but too late to be spoken
3.) things we wished to do but failed
4.) people we could have been but didnt have a chance to be
5.) people whom we wished could have stayed but left
6.) wonderful moments but did not last
.
.
.

...... the list is endless unless we stop and think that regrets are nothing but a mere reflection of our cowardice in life. Regrets came to be since we were not able to achive our goals because we let ourselves being hindered by fear, insecurities, pride and other things. We start to regret when we stopped thinking that past is of the past or the past could never be changed. We could avoid these things if in our life, we do the things we really wanted to do and bearing all the consequences of it.
...... Life is directed by our choices. Carefully choosing those choices according to what we really wanted would be a way to lessen our regrets in life.. ;)

she will be forgotten

..nakz...
it just came to me this week. When i said "im moving on", i might sound absurd based on the things I have been doing lately. Well, I am but not enough. It is not enough in the sense that people could still feel the kind of presence we have together. Though how many times I tried to impose change within myself, people cant see it. They see thesame old me around same girl. Well, I can't force them to think that way esp. when they think that my world is still around her. THe fact that is was doesnt mean it is still. My heart could be stupid but wounds do heal. And when it does, scars remind us that we wont do it again no matter how dumb we could get. A lot of friends had their suggestions on what should do but I did not listen thinking it would be too harsh to implement between us. But this has to end since I know can see the gap I had created between us. I want that gap to widen so that people would see that she doesnt matter to me that much. I dont want to impose this on the hard way but we might be running on thesame circles or worst creating another circle of our own. Sad to say, she will be forgotten. Not tomorrow, Not on June, but Now.. She will be forgotten and this she will learn that on the hard way.. And I dont intend to hurt her.. ANd I know perfectly my place. This has to happen again to delibrately destroy the thing that has been between us that should have never been. That would be painless on my part since I could go on without her. I dont know if that would hurt her either..... all i know is that... i would do this.. not to free just my self, but the both of us from the strangle of issues around us so that we could act separately without affecting each other.. :)
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Note: i Dont inteNd tO be Assumptous to some part of the post.. All of it were based on how I feel and please just respect it. If U got nothing important to say, just Dont post a Reply cause I would think youre absurd.. hehe.. Comments are greatly appreciated... Thankz for reading.. :O
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Sacrifices

Its been sad lately since I did not have good grades in all my higher math subjects. Its painful to see a lot of 5 in my report card. And now, this academic year, I would sacrifice what I think has been so deliberately useless in my academic life. Although they add spice to my college life but the fact that I need to concentrate so that I could graduate this year. I wish that I could make it since it would be a test of my determination against these things that is I consider now as temptations. I know I had been stupid to entertain these things and its never to late to make my last resolve. I know surrender them, so Help ME GOD.

A day with muscle pain

Since I put up a lot of stress to my upper body yesterday, it resulted to muscle pain in those areas. Sadly I need to go school today which I thought to be fruitful. But I ended to waste a lot of money with accomplishing less of my desired tasks for today. I came to help my friend from their physics experiments which was very very late. We had to sneak to her boarding house just to be able to be in her room and made their experiments there. I thought my day in school would ended up without seeing my batchmates. But I was wrong cause after a few hours in my friend's boarding house, one of my barkada came. Well at least, my day did not ended up all messed up. Though I was not able to make almost 50% of the task I which to accomplished today, I am still happy that I was able to hangout with my friend. But though nice events came today, I still am bearing the muscle pain all through out the travel. I think I would get sick. My friends gave a few punches to me which is painful considering I am suffering muscle pain. But it was ok though since it was just for fun yet it was still painful. I arrived late today though I promise to my mom to be home early. I dont know if she was angry since she was already sleeping when I arrived. Though in pain, I still finished my whole day.

Trying to run away...

I know she felt it that I am running away. THough there are times when she asks me to be there, I am there. But its that I wanted that bad to be with her, it just there are times that I just wanted to hang out with her specially when its been a long time I had time so quality time with her (?) hehe.. I am so tired betting around thesame circles again. I think I am quite numb to her sweetness or to her charm coz I know its just her pheromones working and she did not mean all that. And for a guy like me who have been troubled by this thing that she had, well I learn, I think :) . I tried to run away as far as I can from her by going to other set of friends and spending time with them than with her. If she looks for me, I tried to find an alleby just not to stay with her.. That's the best thing I could do for her and for me. Coz this is the only way for me to stay intact on my reality than spending a lot of time on fantasy with her >:(

holding her hand

Like something I've always wanted, holding her hand reminds a lot of things. I know it doesnt mean anything to her but I can't feel the typical holding hands. Well, I for one had hold so many hands esp girls. But unlike them, this one is much different. I did not ignore the fact that since I like her so much, everything she do for me is for me special. Well I try to deny any emotional attachment in every thing we do, but everytime I hold her hand, it made me wish to stay that way. I dont know.. It feels weird in the inside. It overturns my stomach. And it makes me high. I cant deny that her hand always feels different eveytime I hold it. I know it sounds kindda strange but it calms my anxieties and i feel soo much loved. LoL.. I may sound so EMO but that how it feels. That how I find her hand so compelingly strong to unearth my senses.. :)...

Learning to love in Letting go

I dont know exactly what has gone into me. I just tried to figure out how I could let go this one special person but it seems a lot of instances that draws me to her. I dont know why I just let myself fall again into the same PIT where I used to fell upon. But I guess that are one of the mysteries of love. Well, I still got this feeling for her, and this is enough to get through me. I dont know what would happen next. I know this would invite more trouble. But I guess this is for me face through. I liked her which is all that matters and I dont find the reason why I cant spent QT with her. Wish I could have that opportunity to have her :)

hajime!!

Well, I guess I got to MOVE ON... well now I have a reason to. The journey from now will be a lot tougher than before but i would do my best to surpassa all the obstacles that come my way. I am determine to let go of the past and make it a lesson to my future decisions. It was a nice mistake that taught me alot of things in this life and reminds me of the things I had forgotten. Well, now the journey start and I am hoping to find the end of this journey someday with the one who is truly meant to me.... :)