hajime!!

Well, I guess I got to MOVE ON... well now I have a reason to. The journey from now will be a lot tougher than before but i would do my best to surpassa all the obstacles that come my way. I am determine to let go of the past and make it a lesson to my future decisions. It was a nice mistake that taught me alot of things in this life and reminds me of the things I had forgotten. Well, now the journey start and I am hoping to find the end of this journey someday with the one who is truly meant to me.... :)

Wakarinai

someone asked me, why i liked her these much? All i can reply is a face of "I dont know". I dont pretend that its "i dont know", it is really. I mean I know yet I can't put into Leyman's Term. I can't communicate clearly what my heart wants them to know. And came another follow-up question, "Is it love?" and again all i can answer is an "i dont know again". I just tell them these things I felt. And I let them judge from it. These are the following: (1) When I touch her hand, I pray she wont let go ; (2) When she's sad, I tried to make her smile; (3) When we had a moment together, I hope that moment wont last; (4) When she's with me, all i could wished is her to stay... that's all. Well, then if you were to decide, is it love? Love or not Love, it changed me and I dont know how but it did. Though, my vision of my life became so messed up because of this feeling. Yet I know deep inside my heart, it was worth a try.

the Meaning of Living

I was just some ordinary guy who loves to surf the net, play chess, play Computer Games, watch animes and read stuffs. Life has been so simple to me. I got few friends but did not wished to be attached to them. I believe that as long as I keep my distance to them, the less pain they can inflict on me when time comes. But then, just out of the blue, she came. Unlike in the movies that there was some kind of an aura at first look, everything between us has been so casual. My resolve was certain at those time. But then, like what has always been said "You can never tell..", strange things happened to me. I just cant exactly pin-point when did it really start, but this feeling is something greater than anything I have felt before. I know how scared I am, or how insecure I am, or how negative I am. But just as she holds my hand and bare that smile on her face, all the negativism in my mind just fades away. And all I can think is doing my best for her. I dont know why I was compelled to her. Maybe, just maybe, because I felt warm with her. I felt strength flowing into my veins everytime I see her smile. I never thought life could be this much meaningful to me just by seating with her even for a while. I was so selfish to wish that I could stop those time and be with her forever. But unlike fairytales with happy ending, it did not came to a good end. Because soon I realized that somehow I fell for a dream. She was just someone that was not part of my reality. Everything that has been happening was just out of my own imagination. I know that in that dream, I was real, she is real and we both felt thesame for each other. All that left in me, is the longing that I could have her back. She left with my heart. And I couldnt live just of the thought that all was just a dream for somehow deep within me it was most real thing I've ever been in my whole life. And she's been the only girl that gives me the meaning of living.....

Watashino kokorowa nidowo anata ima desu

Watashino kokorowa ima anataga hitsuyou desu. Watashino kokorono nakani naze mada irunoka watashiwa wakaranai. Keredomo, watashiwa anatawo wasureyou to tsuru. Demo, watashino kokorowa antato isshoni ita anatokiwo omoidasu. Watashiwa anataga aideraruto shikteru.

Uncovering Flash

Guys I am learning now how to incorporate flash in my site. saunz.. i am bit slow in learning this thing. Though I got hard knock out on this topic, I find flash animation really astonishingly great.

Here are some changes I made in my site, kindly visit and post a comment here:
http://www.knightfrost.frih.net

....wala ko nakauyon...

ug sadihang guisapot ko sa akong nahibalu-an.. Naa diay na-iritate nako? sa maigo lang.. irritating diay? saunz.. maypa ako ning guibuhat sa una irratating man diay.. mild-mild nah gali ni.. Sige.. kay irritating man.. paugatay tah... well, i wont lose anything. And take note, its not my problem if you cant handle my actions. And its fun I am this way. A lot of things came into view.. Actually, there are a lot of things I missed cause I am not what I am now. Saunz.. weLL, I am happy too bad they are not. Well, i hate to say this but if you hate me the way I am now, FUCK off.. i wont get in your way granted you wont get into mine. Finally, i thought they were with me since they were all around me but their true colors came into view and they showed me that we were just around me and only from there.. :P .. I thank God for I learn to be own my own, learning life my way and revealing the colors that surround me.. Padayun tah.. Paugatay tah.. And PS.. to the person nga na-irritate nako, keep it to your self.. and usa pasad I woNT hANG OUT to PIPOL I dont LIKE...

sick of some people a.k.a Hinanakit sa WoRLd

intriga? well, its not really that intriguing as you might think but it just what i had been feeling all this time. I am sick of people. I am sick of them pretending to be my friend, which they had reconfigured the meaning of a friend. I am sick of how they treated me as if I am person no right to say things. You know what it will be so good if I could yell "F*CK U" at your face. Or I could punch at your face too. I am sick of people thinking that I am this stupid. Do they really think that they could use me? Guess not. Well, it sucks to pretend to go out with this people when you feel so left out. COuld they just f*ck out in your life. Am I this loser to be around with this people?. If I were to have the chance to choose another people to be with, I would not ever choose to be with your company. And mind you, do you think that you do understand me? Dont be a hypocrite and say yes to me cause YOU DONT. Could you just stop to pretend that you know me cause you dont. And dont give me that pitty crap of saying that its me that had a problem cause you know what you been my problem ever since. Do you think you could play with my feelings? Do you think I grew tired? Do you think that no matter what you do I wont give a damn? well sorry for implying that to you cause I think I am not that doll to foool around with you. Well, I am just letting you play with me. Be scared on how I pay back. I am sick of people mistreating me. I hate how they talk about me as if they knew half of my life, or as if they knew me. I suck to be around with suckers like this people. It was good that i had meet true friends who almost dispersed the anxiety of having this suckers with me.

PS. if you think that you know this people I am referring in this post, then stop thinking cause u wont have to think about it. DOnt try to assume coz those will backfire at you. And KeEp it to your self. Isak-sak mo sa baga mo!...

Learning Nihonggo

Konbawa!!!

Watashiwa Charres des. Onamae wa nan des? Gomenasai. Ogenki desu ka?.. Wow.. our first meeting in our japanese class was fun. We learn the 46 primary katakana and hiragana characters. It was awkward too to say japanese words.. It was so funny hearing our selves say those words. Our teacher also inform us that we are going to be watching in the Nihonggo Film Festival and we would be able to interact to japanese students too.. WOW!! Our japanese class is one fun and thrilling subject. Looking forward to all the meetings we are going to have!!!.. Sayounara!!

Trojan Attack

lately I've been having problems on my Internet Explorer (IE) 6. Everytime I start it up my AVG 7 would detect a virus named Trojan Horse PSW.Generic4.UJI. It tried to remove the horse but still it cant. I tried system restore but unluckily it doesnot remove the horse. I cant seemed to find out how to fix this.. does anyone knows how to remove this???

UP CAmpUs MiniStry ReTreat 06

This is our pic when we had our retreat few months ago. I had a lot of fun and many things where worth remembering. This whole group rocks as in R O C K Z!!!This are some of the CM members; (from the left) Christale, Neala, Riena,Arlee,Rica,Juncor,Ate Abs,Allan,Micha,Deah,Deah,Fr. John and (at front) yours truly...

- here comes the rain -

So it rained last midnight.... and it leaves us a to-the-knee water level. I almost not able to get through because of it, the water. But gladly I was. It rained so much that the water didnot subsided till tonight.. And expectedly, the frogs welcome the night.. and also they let themselves welcome into our house.. wahhaa.. I cant believe it until we seen two frogs in our rooms, i dont know how they manage to get there but I am pretty sure that it was not easy.. wahaha.. my sister freaked out (as expected of her) I was then became pissed off since she is so afraid to touch the frog. I ordered her to throw the frog away but she cant even get near the frog to capture it.. WHAT A SHAME!!.. To her fear, she killed it.. what a lost...:( .. The frogs are still noisy outside our house, i think their doing their mating calls. I like to hear their noise since for me this would mean a cold night and I love to cuddle in my bed and sleep for the night.. And based on the noise, there are so many frogs outside since the noise was so loud.. hehehee2x.. WHAT A NIGHT!! Well, I prefer this noise than hearing the night-quarrels in our neighborhood ... :)

ang abakada

well, have you ever wonder why in college you have so many subjects to take up and yet you dont why you took it up. Maybe just because your other classmates took it who also were influenced by other people. Have ever think some of your subjects are not that useful in real life scenario. Well, i got a subject Abstract ALgebra where its algebra just that its in Abstract sense. And I also got COmplex Analysis which deals mostly in the realm of complex numbers. I happen to ask myself where would I use this knowledge I have. I think I must learn to survive my life in this world. And do you think this subjects would get me through?.. I mean I could not expect me to buy an i for a piece of paper where i is an imaginary number... why we are learning these things? why do I have to prove that 1+1=2? or 1+1=0? Do i need these stuffs..? I dont know...I cant still not find a practical use of this subjects. Well, I can't say I wont be able to use since I am still alive, we may not know, the next time I wake up ,complex numbers replaced the real numbers in this world... hehee.. That would be the time, I could put to use what learn in Complex ANalysis or other subjs..:P

One Last Time..

You said you want me to let go .But though I tried to break away from what holds me to you, the one that binds me to you is much stronger than my persistency to let you go. You said I must forget you but as I erase those memories with you, I got second thoughts because you are the only one I did love so. You said you cant love me like I do but my heart doesnot even want anything but just an opportunity to love you. You said so many things that breaks my heart away but this love mends it all together. I know what I must do and you are not supposed to tell me to.But just let me spend this one last time with you.

I want to Cry

I want to cry cause it compensates this surging pain in my heart. I want to cry to make my eyes sore of tears and somehow drains my heart with all the loneliness it bears. I want to cry to show I am this weak though I tried to be strong. I want to cry just to show everyone that there's pain inside my heart that wants to be let out. I want to cry..I want to cry.. just to let you know it pains me that you said goodbye.

My Inspiration

I know you made me strong just by touching my hand
I know you made me fly just by holding my hand,
I know I can be whatever I want to be,
For I know your just here right beside me.

I know you cant hold me for too long,
Because I know what we had is wrong,
But my heart persists on loving you so,
Though time will come I had to let you go.

I may not know eveything but at least I know one thing,
What we had is always been the most wonderful thing,
I dont care if that was a dream or just an imagination,
Cause I know deep in my heart that will always be my inspiration.

My Thoughts of You

I cant deny to my self its hard to get over you,
Getting over all the moments I had with you,
I tried myself letting all about you go,
But its so hard even though I tried so.

I just cant derailed myself on thinking of you,
Dreaming of you or even falling for you,
All I know is that I was happy that day,
Those days when you decided to stay.

I still care for you but I decided not to let you knew,
I still love you though I tried to deny it from you,
I still think of how it has been nice to be with you,
I still hope that somehow you could love me too.

But why I keep on feeling this for you,
Why I can't stop on thinking of you,
All I want is just to make it through,
Getting over all my thoughts of you.

Loving Back

According to the great scientist, Sir Isaac Newton, "In every action there's an equal and opposite reaction". And all scientist in the world agrees that "Every thing that exists in this world follows a CONSERVATION.", meaning nothing is lost but only changed into another form.
Well, you might as yourself, what am I talking about when this post entitles "loving back", but above statements supports the idea that loving someone would result to, you being loved by someone. But that someone that loves you does not implies it is the one you love. We always get a return from everything we do, take note, EVERYTHING WE DO. A few in an direct way but alot in the indirect way. Think of this, if you love someone and she does not love you back and your hurt. Well think of the person loving you as much as you love her, what would she feel? hurt? Sometimes, we dont need eyes to see things just to say it is there. Coz what we dont see are the things we needed most. The dumbest thing in love is when you expect that the person you love, loves you back. The hardest thing is loving the person that never loves you back.

Not Saying The words Supposed to be Said

This is so common to most romantic/corny movies. What so hard in being honest to someone? What so hard in telling him/her the right words? Because of FEAR..but of what? Fear in truth? Hey if your afraid of the truth, then your life is all messed out. Keeping something to the person would do no good. Be honest. Say it. Say it till the person you are talking with can still hear it. Say it for time is running and each moment would passed by and never comes back. Saying it or regret the day all your life. Face the truth cause that would sets you free..........

One Piece!!

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